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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Mental Block

I think I figured out what my mental block is for having this baby. I feel overwhelmed, and I fear that it will only get worse. I already have two small boys who run me to the ground daily. Neil helps a lot, but he gets frustrated sometimes and then he's no help at all. I feel like I'm going to be all alone, crying, trying to make three crying boys happy when no one wants to be.
If that's not it, then it might be that I want a girl sooooo badly. I've been referring to this baby as a boy now for as long as I can remember, but I want a girl. I'm afraid I won't get her, and then I'll have to morn not having a girl and at the same time bond with my new son.
I recognize that this is all a part of God's plan for me and for our family - that he knows what I want, what I need, what I can handle, and what I can't. I also know that it's a little too late to say I can't handle any more kids.
I don't have the answers. Give me a few posts, it will take me a while to work through this.

2 comments:

Cathy

I think babies come out when they are ready. My brother waited 3 weeks just so he could be born on my birthday....I KNOW he did it on purpose!!!

Cathy

Anonymous

My last one was due June 21 (almost 26 yrs ago)and he was induced July 12! I had a son from a former marriage and a daughter between us. My husband so wanted a boy and said if it was a girl we'd have to keep trying till he got a son. I gave birth to a son and all I could say was Thank you Jesus over and over again. And he's (son) just as stubborn now as he was then!! This too shall pass. s